Negatives into positives

Since the spring semester started about two weeks ago, I have considered quitting or taking a lengthy sabbatical from my job as editor of The Daily Mississippian approximately 1,029, 890, 145, 502.662 times. It hasn't been that I don't love my job, my staff or the newspaper itself. Rather, I have been confronted with a lot of issues all at once and it's starting to take a toll on me.

This is a hard job, dear readers. Not just because of the decisions I have to make everyday about what should be printed in the paper and what should not, but also because I am subject to a rather intense, uncomfortable level of scrutiny. There are students, alums, administrators, faculty members, community members and other journalists looking at our product word for word, line by line everyday. Many of them are very, very vocal in letting me know exactly what they think -- and let's just say that people who are pleased are not the ones who write and call me. I appreciate every comment I get, no matter how virulent, but reading things like "The DM sucks" and "The DM is the worst paper ever, it should be shut down immediately" all day long does tend to wear on my nerves. I know how hard our entire staff works and when we fail to connect with our readers, it affects the mood in the entire office.

What gets to me most though are comments that attack me as a person. I like to think the "editor hat" is something I can put on when I get into the office, when I make some newspaper-related appearance, or when I am dealing with DM business. When it's not one of those moments, I like to just be an Ole Miss senior approaching graduation in May and trying to figure our what in the world I want to do with my life. But comments that say "Marti Covington is ignorant," "Marti Covington is an atrocious human being" or "Marti Covington is the stupidest, most wretched person on earth" hit me much closer to home. I sometimes wonder, "Can't this person see Marti Covington, student and Marti Covington, editor are almost like different people? Why did they have to take it there? They don't really know me."

The solution is two-part. First, I need to stop taking negative comments personally, because *hopefully* they were never intended to hit me on that level. Second, I need to be more visible in the community. I've found that when Ole Miss and Oxford residents actually meet and speak with me in person, they come away with a greater understanding of who I am and how that affects the paper we put out everyday. They see that I'm not an angry black militant hell-bent on dismantling positive race relations at the university. They see that I'm not a left-wing, hippie-type that hates Greeks and wishes the Greek system did not exist.

What I am is a regular student who loves journalism and wants the student newspaper to reflect that love and appreciation. I try go to parties at Billiards and on the Square and hang out at my friends' houses just as often as I'm in front of my computer at the Student Media Center. I take a few hours off work on Sundays to make my own sorority's chapter meetings. I sneak off between classes for impromptu shopping trips to Batesville, Tupelo or Memphis, depending on my time.

Simply put, I'm just an average student with a rather extraordinary job. But the longer I keep this position and give 100 percent of myself everyday to being successful in it, the more extraordinary I also become -- and that is really exciting.